Sandra E. Lamb

Manners Quiz
Checking Your Civility I.Q.

Most of us agree that rudeness is on the rise. Here's a little quiz you may want to take to check your behavior in areas where most people think there's a growing problem. Then check the "personal tips," made by many of those interviewed, at the end of this quiz.

Driving Behavior

1. "Me first," aggressive driving is rude and can create danger on our highways.

Yes, I'm guilty:

Behavior in Public Places

2. Cell phone use in public places is rude because it intrudes on others' space. I have talked on my cell phone in theaters, museums, while waiting in lines at stores or airports, or during sporting events. Or, I've interrupted face-to-face conversations to take non-urgent calls.

3. The niceties of courteous exchange are important to our civility. But I do fail to say "please," "thank you," and "excuse me," when I should.

4. Bad language in public, general conversation is increasing. I find myself using slang, crude, or profane words.

5. Exchanges between customers and staff people are often marked by discourteous behavior and rude remarks. If someone is rude to me, I'm rude in return.

6. I forget to set a good example for children in situations like sporting events.

Personal and Private Behavior

7. I realize honesty and truthfulness are vitally important, but I stray from both in my private and business lives in small ways.

8. Personal "nosy" questions show a loss of a proper sense of "propriety." I do ask friends and acquaintances questions about money, age, or personal matters.

Social Manners

9. I have failed to RSVP to an invitation when it is clearly requested.

10. I have forgotten or neglected to send a handwritten thank you note when someone has given me a gift or performed a kindness.

Top Personal Tips by Respondents Who Decided to Improve Their Civility I.Q.

1. "I find if I allow myself more time to get where I'm going, my driving--and that of others--is much more courteous."

2. "I've started turning my cell phone off in public."
"I excuse myself, and talk only in areas where I'm sure other people won't be disturbed."

3. "The niceties of saying 'please,' 'thank you,' and 'excuse me' are a habit. To make sure our family uses them, we practice at home, starting with dinner table conversations."

4. "Bad language, too, is a bad habit. I find the best approach is simply not allowing myself to indulge in it."

5. "I find if I tell myself I'm not going to let someone else decide my behavior it's easier to not get angry and react with rudeness."
"I try to encourage and reward courteous behavior by thanking a person when he/she is courteous to me."
"I try to report especially courteous treatment to a supervisor."

6. "I find limiting my alcohol intake at such events is key to acting the way I like to be seen."
"If I find myself becoming upset at one of my children's events, I take a walk."

7. "I decided that there are many ways to avoid infractions in even small things like having someone say I'm not in. I've decided the path to more honesty and truthfulness starts with me."

8. "I first ask myself, 'is this a question I'd like someone to ask me?' If the answer is 'no,' I don't ask."
"If I'm asked a personal question I don't want to answer, I try to use a humorous non-response, like, 'I'm at that awkward age when I prefer not to say."
"If the question is really intrusive, I simply say, 'I won't discuss that.'"

9. "I make it a rule to decide within 48 hours, so I won't forget. Then I RSVP as requested."

10. "I sometimes remind myself how I feel when I've done something special for someone, or given a nice wedding or birthday gift, only to never receive a handwritten thank you note. This prompts me to be sure I write one and get it in the mail in a day or two."